Disclaimer - I write this piece with a lot of empathy for what you have been through. But my objective in writing this piece is not to make you feel good by sympathetic words but to do so with knowledge that will power you with confidence of not becoming a victim again. Not just that but also give you this confidence so you can share it with others and prevent them from becoming first time victims. To be able to receive this knowledge, you'll have to park your emotions aside while you read this. Emotions tend to block our mind from being able to perceive new perspectives.
The Crime
Sexual abuse is not a new crime. Its been there for centuries. Earlier probably in a much brutal form as the society was not as matured and empowered to raise their voice against it. During the times of the rulers, rape was common. Back then I don't think any evil man had to just satisfy himself with a few nasty comments. He had the dominance over the masses to do what he wished. Its important for us to study the past as the mind that commits such crime today is similar. This mind still believes that the society or the Victim will keep shut in fear and will allow dominance.
DOMINANCE - A Classic Pre - Crime Indicator.
The form of dominance that we speak here is not the kinds that we experience at school/college. At the education institutions, the intensity of dominance is high from day one if you have a strict faculty. But the dominance that sexual abuse offenders seek, is built into your relationship over time (in 98% cases where the offender is a friend, colleague, neighbor or worst, from your family). This dominance starts by merely disrespecting your 'NO'. This could be as small as - NO not burger lets eat a pizza... to a NO, that would actually lead to perfect conditions for the abuse ( No to Your Time, Your Place, Your Activity and Yes to their Modus Operandi).
Watch OUT !
You need to watch out for relationships that do not respect your choices. Once in a way giving in to others choice is OK. But when this becomes a routine is when you must WAKEUP. And consider it your good fortune if the opponent lets you go quite easily. In some cases the abuse gets advanced when the opponent realises he could lose you.
Modus Operandi - The Personal Security Perspective.
The best difference between Self Defense and Personal Security Education is the difference between a 007 and a Rock movie. Rock on one hand needs to ENGAGE into a physical fight to bring excitement into the movie. While 007 shows up much ahead of his villain and prescribes him a metal pill. Personal Security Education is all about beating your opponent by predicting his Modus Operandi and before it could be executed. All crime whether sexual abuse, robbery or terrorism starts with an INTENT and then manifests into a mode of operation. The mode of operation of a sexual abuse offender is much predictable if you can think like one.
When I visit a client installation, I first think like the bad guy and look for ways how I could steal/sabotage. Once I know how I could steal, I know what to fix. So the first task for you now is plan your sexual abuse. This is not going to be easy as most of us will indulge heavily into denial and try to reason with oneself. But as I said, you'd rather be 007 than rock. Once you know how you can be sexually abused you'll know your vulnerabilities. And once you know them you can fix them. If you need help in doing this, contact a security consultant and they could help you (you can reach me as well).
Pre - Crime Indicators (PCI)
This one makes all the difference and forms an integral part of Personal Security Education. To understand this better you will have to understand what personal security really is. And the various ways it can be breached. For one to identify the PCI's, they have to be really good at situational and security awareness. This is not rocket science but it is a science that can be understood and learnt as an art. This doesn't just make you a Hard Target against all crime but also helps you in your day to day social and professional interactions.
In a nutshell - PCI's are indicators just like those that come before an earthquake, cyclone or a tsunami. Knowing how to read and interpret them accurately will help save lives.
I'd like to end with an attempt to making you believe that -
Sexual Abuse is a very simple crime and simpler to irradicate if we take the right approach, the right perspective, use the right tools take the right action at the right time. After having studied terrorism and its complexities, this is a no brainier.
All we need to know is that it will take ACTION to kill this crime. Action by women alone. Not the media, not the police, not the law not by anyone else. ACTION BY WOMEN ALONE
The above 3 points, Dominance, Modus Operandi and PCI are enough to get you started to think on the Personal Security Education lines.
For more info on the subject or personal consultation, feel free to write in.
Stay Secured and Safe.
Chakradhari Rowe
Director
Training & Ops
Director
Training & Ops
cd@armoredspirit.com
+91 805 004 1238
+91 805 004 1238
